Slow and steady wins the race?!

Maybe I am just getting too philosophical but sometimes ordinary situations will trigger such a domino effect in my mind. I will see, hear, feel or smell something and it will generate an idea in my head and there is no stopping it. It just keeps on going and making connections. And I won't be able to let it go for hours or days...

Last week, I was taking my daughter swimming and I had to park in such a tight space, that the door would only open wide enough for me to squeeze out. I made my 4 year old daughter climb to the front and she face-planted on my seat before sliding out of the car, all the while I was carefully holding the door in place, so it wouldn't scratch the car next to us.

As I opened the car door ever so carefully and opened it as far as possible, I couldn't take my eyes or mind off the spot where the two car doors met. I kept thinking about how the force of the impact was the pivotal factor in whether or not I might damage the door. The motion would always be the same, my car door moving towards the other. But in executing this very gently there wouldn't be any damage done when the doors would touch. If I was to open the door with force, however, the impact would be much bigger and it would damage probably both car doors.

I could not get this picture of the impact out of my head and started to think about how this rings true in our lives and how we operate with different kinds of impact. In the case of the car door, the result of increased impact would have been negative, hence I worked gently to get a positive result (I could open the door, no damage done). I think that we encounter this kind of slow impact a lot, when we have to be patient and gentle in order to see positive results. If we want to see real change in our lives for example. Research shows that we will be far more successful if we implement small changes one at a time and then stick to them (I could break down the process with the car door in many small steps here, but I will spare us all!).

I am (like so many others) trying to work on the balance in my life and making more time for myself. I have so many ideas about how to make changes. In everyday life, however, it will not be practical to do too many things at once. So, I stick to one change every couple of weeks. This week I started to integrate blocks of time into my diary when I plan to read and/or rest. It feels like just one little step but I know that by not rushing it, I will not stretch myself too far or make change impossible. I will not feel overwhelmed; I will get a chance to actually experience my change, see how it works for me, see how it sits and whether this is a long haul winner. I am giving myself the time to be mindful around this new idea and to stick with it. It is only one thing that I need to wrap my head around and I am way more likely to give it a real go.

If I was trying to jump all the way to the goal of of being in a fully balanced place, not acknowledging that my goal is a very dynamic one which I will always have to work on, then I would probably get frustrated very quickly and feel overwhelm rather than positive impact. Taking on too much change at any one time will most likely not give me the results that I want.

Being present and mindful about our choices increase our chances of success and will as a bonus also make us feel more content in the moment and with the process. You wouldn't just open the car door very quickly and with so much force that you damaged it. And if it did happen, it wouldn't be the outcome you were hoping for. It would quite literally feel like a bit of a crash!

Easier said than done, though. I can very easily feel restlessness creeping up on me and it can me feel impatient and wanting to move too fast.

So, I try to remember that by opening the car door slowly and pacing my actions, the impact will be just right. I will get there.

I started Spaceforcourage with you in mind. There are many ways you can reach your goals and get to where you want to be. I would love to speak with you about your pace and what impact you are looking for.

By opening the car door slowly and pacing my actions, the impact will be just right. I will reach my goal.